The Kissing Recession: A Crisis of Intimacy in Modern Society
A recent survey suggests that a significant number of British adults are kissing less often than they did five years ago, with nearly one in five not having been kissed in over a year. Experts attribute this decline to a combination of factors, including the rise of digital communication, the decline of shared spaces, and shifting gender relations.
## The Death of the Kiss? Spencer, a 31-year-old, has never experienced a kiss that he enjoyed. His last kiss was two years ago, on a first date, and he still struggles to identify why it didn't work for him. "I found her attractive, there was chemistry, but something was lacking," he says. "It felt like a mechanical thing to do." Spencer's experience is not unique, and a recent survey suggests that a significant number of British adults are kissing less often than they did five years ago. ## The Rise of Digital Communication The survey, commissioned by oral care brand Waken, found that more than a third of British adults reported kissing romantically less often than they did five years ago. Nearly one in five hadn't been kissed in more than a year, while 27% believed kissing is becoming less common. Experts attribute this decline to a combination of factors, including the rise of digital communication, the decline of shared spaces, and shifting gender relations. ## The Impact on Young People For young people, self-consciousness may be a major factor in the decline of kissing. A third of those aged 18 to 24 said they had avoided a kiss because they lacked confidence. This tallies with research consistently showing that young people today are more risk-averse than those in the past, abstaining not just from sex but also from alcohol and drugs. Blair, a 24-year-old non-binary person, has only had three kisses in total since their teens, despite a six-year long-distance relationship. "I have never been to a bar or club, I have never tried dating... I barely go anywhere that isn't work or the cinema," they say. ## The Broader Implications The decline of kissing is part of a broader breakdown in connection, attributed to the rise in digital communication, the decline of shared spaces and nightlife, shifting gender relations, and even fears of surveillance. When two people were filmed kissing in New York's Central Park last month, the clip went viral, attracting 4 million views on TikTok and many mocking comments. Kissing has always been a mirror of its times, says Katie Barclay, a professor at Macquarie University, Sydney. In her new book The Kiss: A History of Passion and Power, she traces its evolution since medieval times and concludes that we really are kissing less today. ## The Complications of Modern Dating The seriousness of kissing has complicated a youthful rite of passage. "I'm definitely very self-conscious about romantic intimacy - but it's not for lack of trying," says Carrie, 23. Her final two-and-a-half years of secondary school were conducted online due to the pandemic: "I do feel like I missed out." Carrie has been on "plenty" of dates since, "but nothing has happened - it's frustrating." She feels scared and too inexperienced to make a move; her dates may have felt the same, she adds. ## The Impact on Mental Health The decline of kissing is having a significant impact on mental health, particularly for men. Rodrigo, 31, conceals his lack of experience from friends, afraid of ridicule and being judged as a misogynistic "incel." "Unfortunately, we all get grouped in that negative category," he says. He has no time for men who blame their lack of sexual success on women, instead of looking inward. "Some of those guys have become really blind to what's wrong with them.
